In the craziest World Cup in history, in the sweetest of football extravaganzas, we have to kiss an extraordinary country goodbye as they leave the game they themselves are hosting, who themselves were favourites to win. We kiss them goodbye with Beijinhos de coco e chocolate – Chocolate and coconut kisses, another epic recipe in pictures from Cristy Raad, with tears running down our faces, making it real tough to post on the internet right now. Goodbye Brazil! (wiping tears, blowing noses).
Brazil, you broke our hearts, we cried when Neymar was broken (without so much of a cry of foul on the pitch – what the ..?) and we questioned the legitimacy of a sport that punishes a ridiculous, yet relatively harmless bite of a hungry footballer confronted with a delicious looking shoulder, but that has no rules against breaking a colleagues’ back, when that player happens to be the pride and joy, the hope of the host team. Yes we cried in outrage, we cried for the career of a star who should not be snuffed out so brutally.
But now we cry watching young fans, old fans, middle-aged fans’ hopes crushed within a few minutes of the opening whistle. They didn’t sing, but they shouted the anthem with gusto, only to feel the tears of pride turn to horror, turn to bitter disappointment as Germany, merciless, showed the team what it means to be serious, to control their nerves, to control their hopes and dreams, to run on discipline, to be organised, to run on a game plan, to be German.
It would be foolish to blame the Germans – they played great, they did what they had to do – they took every opportunity and 7 of them opened up for them, what were they supposed to do? Ignore them? No, they played football. Brazil held back, Brazil didn’t really play today. But they broke the hearts of millions of people. People started to ask if human rights had been broken in the Estádio Mineirão tonight.
All we can do is teach you, tears running down our faces, how to make Brazilian kisses, kisses of chocolate and coconut, in 13 steps, for Brazil. For Neymar. Make them. Especially if you’re German.